he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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