butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
