Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can you bring me the toilet please
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
