But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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