i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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