i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
