My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
