She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
