we're blogging at a bar
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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