New invention idea: vibrating tampons
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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