Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
