Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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