dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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