my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They took my balls.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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