is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
