What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
