i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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