Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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