just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
