Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
