wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize