If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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