i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I want a musical about memes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
