i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
