I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
