I accidentally burped into my bong.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
