Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I need a burrito and a hug.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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