Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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