Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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