Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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