I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
