I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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