Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
