is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
