i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
