Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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