good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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