question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
