doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
