Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
TSA found the edibles
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
