Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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