Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
