Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
