I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize