Non-Jews are for practice
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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