yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
