if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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