No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
