He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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