you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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