all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
