I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
